Vignettes From Clown World
A satirical glance through the looking glass into our modern dystopia.
🧠
A young woman in teal scrubs dances to upbeat electronic music before a smartphone camera. Behind her in the frame sits a teenage boy, his eyes stare vacantly into the middle distance. As the woman executes a meticulously-practised robot, white text appears and scrolls across the screen: TFW you perform 6 lobotomies in one shift. The video has 24 thousand heart reactions.
👔
Marcel sits himself down in an ergonomic office chair across from the HR representative. “We have reports that you’ve been repeatedly mistitling our recent hire.” Marcel sighs heavily, but says nothing. “Mistitling is a form of harassment, Marcel. You need to be respectful of your coworkers’ identities and address them as they’d like to be addressed.” Marcel furrows his brow angrily before responding. “Ain’t no way in hell I’m going to call John ‘master’ — fire me if you have to, I don’t care. Y’all have lost your damn minds if you think his fetish has any place in this office.” He presses his palms into the desktop and stands up suddenly. “You know what? Fuck this.” He takes off his lanyard. “I quit.”
🗄
Connor nervously approaches the municipal clerk, a stack of paperwork in hand. “How can I help you today?” The middle-aged woman at the desk has an efficient aura about her. “I’m here to amend my birth certificate.” The clerk nods and begins pecking away at her keyboard. “Did you bring the necessary documentation?” Connor slides the stack of papers in his hand across the counter. “Yes. Here’s the notarized letter from my physician, as well as my sworn declaration that I identify as retired.” A flash of incredulity appears on the clerk’s face before she hastily collects herself. “Of course sir. We’ll submit this right away. Is there anything else I can help you with?” Connor’s excitement overtakes his nerves, and he makes eye contact with the clerk. “Yes, how do I file for social security?”
♿️
“Is this really the direction we want to head in?” the board member asks suddenly. Florence narrows her eyes. “Of course we should lobby the legislature to pass the Accessibility Standards Act. This is the culmination of 20 years of disability advocacy.” A quiet murmur spreads throughout the conference room. “I thought this was an inclusive environment” someone finally pipes up. “You know some of our transabled members find a lack of access disability-affirming. I can’t believe we’re going to take that away from them.” The murmur grows into a chorus of discontent.
⚽️
Tom chases the ball at full tilt across the playing field. He’d always wanted to be a football star as a boy — and now he finally has his chance. His breathing grows laboured as his tar-blackened lungs struggle with the sudden burst of intense exercise, his thick neck glistens and turns red with the exertion. Tom stops and falls suddenly, his knees sinking into the grass. He clasps desperately at his chest while the gaggle of 11 year old boys catches up with him. “See,” someone on the sidelines says confidently, leaning over to his wife, “I told you adults don’t have athletic advantages.”